I was a senior in college when 9/11 happened. I was shocked, saddened, appalled, scared, and all the other emotions that most of America felt in the wake of that day. Tonight, it supposedly all came to an end with the announcement that the orchestrator of that day, Osama bin Laden, is dead. America is rejoicing. My Facebook feed is full of comments of victory, relief, and the sweetness of revenge. Justice, they are calling it. I, too, feel that something momentous has happened, but I can’t seem to shake a feeling of deep sadness.
Bin Laden killed thousands and crowed over us, taunted us, continued to threaten us, sicked his soldiers on us. It is fairly safe to call him evil. I imagine there is some degree of closure that these families, both from 9/11 as well as soldiers who have been killed during the war on terror, received tonight. I don’t know how it feels, so I can only imagine.
But again, there is this feeling of sadness I can’t seem to shake. After the initial shock of the news passed, my thoughts didn’t turn to justice or victory or anything like it. They first turned to how unprepared this man is to meet God. The thought of the confrontation in the afterlife, the accountability for what he has done…well, I’m just glad that I don’t have to witness it. I think it will be something fearsome and devastating to behold. My thoughts then turned to his grieving family. Even though bin Laden did atrocious things, he is still someone’s brother, uncle, son…father. No matter how much I put his monstrous deeds front and center, I cannot turn off the image of a grieving family.
I hope those reading this (all 5 of you) don’t mistake my feelings. I do not intend to justify or minimize the terrible pain he has brought on many countries, not just ours. I also don’t intend to minimize the sacrifice thousands of soldiers have made in trying to bring bin Laden to justice. I am grateful for all our armed forces do to keep our country safe. 10 years ago, I would have believed that this was the answer, that we could go back to life as we knew it pre-9/11 once the bastard bin Laden was dead. But I have seen too much to believe that this is the end of fighting in Afghanistan (and the world) and have felt too much pain to rejoice at the loss of another human’s life. I feel some of the same feelings I felt after 9/11: fear (you know they are going to retaliate), sadness, shock. It feels like this will never end. I fear my children may never know what peace looks like.
If you had asked me 10 years ago if I would be praying for bin Laden’s soul once he was found and killed, I would have said you were crazy. But tonight, it seems that’s all my heart wants to do.
Amen, sister. I felt similarly but couldn’t put it in words, thank you for doing it justice! To celebrate the loss of human life seems disrespectful of…something.
Ditto. When we found out last night, my first and most honest response was something close to sadness. While I think that the actions of hunting down somebody so dangerous and damaging to our safety are valid (think the secret combinations in the Book of Mormon), the massive rejoicing at bin Laden’s death is disturbing to me. But then again, I also strongly disagree with the use of the images and video of the twin towers to stir up emotion and “patriotism.” I think it disrespects those who died in the attack. So maybe I’m too sensitive to the whole issue.
I do hope, however, that this provides some closure to all those who lost loved ones or faith in the world, and some possible direction towards peace in our relations in the Near East.
I was surprised when I found out, he seemed to be the “untouchable” of all bad-guys, so surreal that he was almost larger than life. I felt no happiness, not even relief, because Al Queda is bigger than he is now, I wondered if he would become the martyr, the rally cry for other acts of hatred and terror. I didn’t realize how uncomfortable I actually was with the depictions of his death until Monday morning when I was at the gym, an older man was walking down the hall yelling out to everyone he saw: “We got the >**%!” I was so offended by his behavior. I was thinking to myself the whole time: “I’m so grateful that no American soldiers were lost in this mission.”